


to forgive you, is to forgive myself

by MicThenTheHalfCigarette



Series: love, loss, and a cup of tea [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avatar, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Book 3: Fire, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fluff, Forgiveness, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda is dad of the year, Katara is a protective sister, Lesbian Suki (Avatar), Light Angst, M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, The Gaang Learns How Zuko Got The Scar (Avatar), The Jasmine Dragon (Avatar), Zukka is my weakness, seriously they dont talk about their feelings, sokka and zuko are awful at communicating, suki is the lesbian queen we deserve, they all share one braincell and katara usually has it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25344742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicThenTheHalfCigarette/pseuds/MicThenTheHalfCigarette
Summary: Set a couple of months after the end of 'that would be enough', Zuko is practising his speech that'll hopefully convince the avatar to let him join them. He knows it's not going to be easy, but he wants to do the right thing. And he wants to win Sokka over.Since their defeat in Ba Sing Se, Sokka has been bottling up his emotions, dead set on helping Aang win the war, and determined not to think about the by in the tea shop with shaggy hair and a gruff voice. Sokka would say that he hasn't thought of Zuko at all- except he'd be lying. He's thought about Zuko every single day. But he's not spoken on it- Aang, Katara and Toph hardly need anymore distractions, especially after the failed invasion. No, Sokka is determined to win this war, and if that means forgetting about Zuko, then so be it- see if he cares.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: love, loss, and a cup of tea [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834816
Comments: 7
Kudos: 232





	to forgive you, is to forgive myself

**Author's Note:**

> Ask and you shall receive! Y'all wanted a part 2, well here's a part 2! Sorry it took so long, this part is a lot longer and required more time to properly shape the plot as I kept changing it (took me few tried to be happy with my outline before i could even begin writing)!  
> I know the title is the same as part 1 was originally. After I decided to make this into a three-part series, I decided that the title fit this part better.  
> The second instalment picks up a little while after where we left off in part 1, starting from S03 E12. This will be less Canon-Compliant than part 1, but if I don't write a specific moment that happened in the show, assume that it did happen. Only exeption is Combustion Man, Zuko didn't hire him in this version of events, I don't think he would after what happened in part 1.  
> Some of the lines as Zuko approaches the Gaang are the same as in the show- these aren't my words, and it should be clear where its quoting the show and where its original dialogue.

~Zuko~ 

“Hello, Zuko here,” Zuko spoke with a smile, before sighing out of frustration, “No that’s terrible they know who I am,” 

Zuko didn’t know why he was bothering. Or well, he did- it was his destiny to help the avatar bring down the Fire Lord. He also wanted to see Sokka. He knew this was the right thing to do, and he knew it was what he had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. He’d spent the last year chasing them all down, they probably wouldn't trust him. Not to mention how he’d hurt Sokka. If Sokka had told his friends about what had happened, then he definitely had no chance of getting them to trust him. Zuko sighed, “Sokka,” he breathed out, almost silently. Zuko thought about Sokka a lot, but now particularly, He thought about the grin on Sokka’s face when he made a joke, or the feeling of Sokka’s hands running through his hair, fixing the awful style Uncle had put it in. Zuko instinctively touched his neck, pulling a thin, silver chain out from under his shirt. He ran the charm through his fingers, thinking of Sokka’s fingers brushing against his neck as he fastened the hook, or the look of anticipation as he waited for Zuko’s reaction to the gift. 

After about four tries at a decent speech, to no avail, Zuko decided that he should just go and get it done with. As long as he covered a few general areas he should be fine. He just needed to make it clear that he's not there to attack them, that he’s good now, that he’s sorry and that he can teach the avatar firebending. Easy right? Zuko just knew he was going to mess this up. That’s what he usually did anyway- ruin things. Father was right- he’s a disappointment. 

He allowed his mind to wander once more, this time to the look on his father’s face when he declared that he was leaving to join the avatar. Although that wasn’t nearly as amusing (although only in hindsight- in the moment, Zuko was terrified) as when Zuko had let it slip to his father that he wasn’t exactly heterosexual. That really set him off. The strangest part was, Zuko wasn’t even sad about it? He didn’t need his father's approval, his uncle loved him for who he was, and Sokka loved him. Or well- Sokka loved a version of him. Sokka probably actually hated him. 

~~~

Zuko had a million things running through his head as he approached the group, and was just about ready to turn back and do this later when the earthbender, Toph he thought her name was, noticed him arrive. 

“Hello,” Zuko spoke awkwardly, waving his hand a little. “Zuko here.” He cringed as he said that, he’d decided not to introduce himself, yet here he was doing it anyway- making a fool of himself. He’s not cut out for this. 

“Hey, I heard you guys flying around down there, so, I just thought I'd wait for you here.” He continued, choosing to ignore the fighting stances the four ahd all gotten into. Before Zuko could say anymore he was being licked by their bison. That would help his case- if the bison trusted him, they might go easier on him. “I know you must be surprised to see me here.” 

“Not really,” Sokka’s voice cut in, his tone dry and scathing, “You always manage to show up wherever we are,” 

Zuko tried very hard to ignore the look in Sokka’s eyes as he said that- he knew exactly what he was referring to and it didn’t help Zuko be any more coherent than he was being already. “Right. Well, uhhh ... anyway ... what I wanted to tell you about is that I've changed, and I, uhhh, I'm good now, and well I think I should join your group, oh, and I can teach firebending to you.” This was going awfully. They all looked shocked at this, there was no way they’d trust him. This was a bad idea he should have practised more. Everyone was silent and it was driving Zuko crazy, “See, I, uhhh…”he trailed off. 

“You want to what now?” The earthbender spat. 

Oh no. This was going terribly, he should just leave- this was a bad idea. 

“You can't possibly think that any of us would trust you, can you? I mean, how stupid do you think we are?!”  
Zuko looked to Sokka, expecting him to agree with his sister and friend, but hoping deep down that he might vouch for him. That Sokka might trust him once more. But Sokka just shook his head and turned away. 

“I’ve done some good things!” Zuko protested, “I haven't tried to capture you in months, and I freed your biso in Ba Sing Se!” Zuko almost regretted bringing up that he freed the bison as he was suddenly, and without warning assaulted by it’s huge tongue… again. 

“I don't trust him.” Sokka spoke flatly. 

“I can understand why you wouldn't trust me, and I know I've made some mistakes in the past” Zuko began, before being cut off by Sokka. 

“Like when you attacked our village?” 

“Or when you stole my mother's necklace and used it to track us down and capture us?”

“Look, I admit I've done some awful things. I was wrong to try to capture you, and I'm sorry that I attacked the Water Tribe,” Zuko wasn’t lying- he really was sorry. Deciding that there was no point in trying to convince Sokka or Katara, Zuko turned to Aang, “You once said you thought we could be friends. You know I have good in me.”

Zuko waited, hopefully, as Aang looked back to his friends. His heart dropped as Sokka shook his head and Aang spoke, “There's no way we can trust you after everything you've done. We'll never let you join us.”

~~~

“Who’s there?” Zuko yelled into the darkness. All his time spent travelling with his uncle made him a pretty light sleeper, and when he heard someone approaching him, Zuko would immediately jump up and grab his Dao swords. “Stay back!”

“It's me!” A small voice yelped, Zuko lowered his swords, and lit a small fire in his hand to see the person approaching him better.  
“Toph?” Zuko was surprised to say the least, not expecting to see any of the avatar’s friends again. Not after Katara’s threat to stay away. “Come, sit down,” Zuko gestured towards the large wooden log, forgetting that Toph couldn’t see this, and moved the fire from his hand to the small pile of kindling to create a campfire so that he could see Toph properly. 

“I’m gonna be blunt with you Sparky,” Zuko wanted to protest the nickname, but held his tongue, deciding that it would be best to stay as much on her good side as possible. “We need you. Aang needs to learn firebending and you’re the only one who can teach him.”

“I know, that's why I-” Zuko began, but was cut off by Toph. 

“I’m not done.” Zuko kept his mouth shut, nodding as Toph continued, “They don’t trust you though, and I’m not sure they will- not right away at least.”

Zuko nodded, he understood that. He wouldn't trust him either. Zuko knew why he’d done what he did, and he knew it wasn’t an excuse. Although Sokka knew more about Zuko than he realized, he probably didn’t know that the majority of what they’d spoken about had been true. 

“I don’t need to know your sob story, or why you did what you did, but I do know that you were being sincere when you spoke to us, and I’m willing to give you a chance,” 

“Thank you, Toph” 

~Sokka~

Sokka, the next morning, was still furious that Zuko had had the audacity to show up asking to be let into the group. How dare he, after all he’d put them through, after burning down Kyoshi Island, after attacking his village, after months of chasing them down, attempting to capture Aang. The worst part, Sokka thought, was that he still loved him. No matter how far down he pushed those feelings he still felt a pang in his heart when Zuko smiled at them, and a part of him wanted to forgive Zuko right there on the spot. The part of him that was mad at Zuko, however, far outweighed the love he felt for him. Zuko had lied for months, he’d broken Sokka’s heart, and that betrayal still stung. Sokka didn’t know if he could ever even begin to forgive Zuko- even if a part of him wanted to do so the second Zuko arrived at the Western Air Temple. 

Sokka hadn’t told anyone about what had happened with Zuko. Not really, anyway. None of his friends knew- they might have known something, an idea that Zuko had done something, but none had the slightest clue of the whole story. Sokka had spoken to someone about it, though. Even having been away three years, Sokka and Katara’s father, Hakoda, could tell almost immediately that something was wrong with Sokka. And so Sokka had told him. Sokka had told him about the boy in the tea shop back in Ba Sing Se, and how they’d been out together and how they spoke together. Sokka told him how his face lit up when he’d talk about his uncle, or how soft his hair was. Sokka told him how he’d lied about who he was, how he’d broken his heart, but not who he was. Sokka wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t bring himself to reveal that the boy from the tea shop was actually Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.

His father had been good though, Sokka hadn’t been expecting his father to react negatively to the fact that he liked boys, but still, it was nice to know that his father still supported him. Those first couple weeks had been the hardest, so having his father back really made all the difference, the company of someone he hadn’t spent every day with for the last six months was exactly what Sokka had needed. 

“Toph!” Sokka was pulled out of his thoughts by Katara’s exclamation. Toph has just rocked up at the temple as if she hadn’t disappeared last night without a word to anyone. 

“Where were you?” Haru asked as Toph sat down on one of the seats around the burnt-out campfire that her and Haru had earthbended the day before. 

“Don’t be mad,” Toph began. Which was clearly bad news and a big clue that they would all, indeed, be mad. “But I went to see Zuko last night.” 

“You WHAT?!” Sokka found himself yelling in shock as Katara did the same. 

“He can help us!” Toph defended, “He was being sincere yesterday and he can teach Aang firebending!” 

Sokka wasn’t having this. He wouldn't ever make the mistake of trusting Zuko again. If Toph had decided to trust him, that was on her.

“Why should we trust him?” Katara reasoned, “After all he’s done, chasing us down trying to capture Aang,” Katara continued to list off reasons why they shouldn’t trust Zuko, things that he’d done, but all Sokka could think about was the way Zuko’s whole face went red when he ruffled his hair. Or the feeling of Zuko’s hand in his. All Sokka could think about was the warm feeling in his chest every time he’d arrive at the tea shop and Zuko would smile, drop what he was doing and sit with him. 

“I’m not saying we should trust him,” Toph began, “I’m saying we should give him a chance. I’m saying that he can help us, and if he tries anything- we’ll be ready,” 

“Fine,” Aang spoke first, “We’ll talk to him- but no promises that we’ll let him join us,” 

And that’s how Sokka found himself face to face with the man who broke his heart, listening to why they should trust him. 

Zuko seemed to be more awkward than the first time he’d approached them, and refused to look Sokka in the eye as he spoke, “Listen, I know I didn't explain myself very well yesterday, I've been through a lot in the last few years, and it's been hard. But I'm realizing that I had to go through all those things to learn the truth. I thought I had lost my honor, and that somehow my father could return it to me. But I know now that no one can give you your honor. It's something you earn for yourself, by choosing to do what's right. All I want to do now is play my part in ending this war, and I know my destiny is to help you restore balance to the world.” 

And as much as Sokka hated to admit it, he seemed sincere. He seemed like the same person who had sat talking to him for hours in the tea shop. The same person who had held his hand around Ba Sing Se, talking animatedly about theatre and how a local theatre group he’d seen had butchered his favourite show. Sokka hates to admit it, but he felt a familiar pang in his heart as Zuko spoke, and couldn’t keep himself from smiling- just a little bit. 

“I’m sorry for what I did to you,” Zuko continued, he could’ve been talking specifically to any of them, and about anything but Sokka couldn't help but feel like Zuko was talking directly to him at that moment. “Fire can be dangerous and wild, so as a firebender, I need to be more careful and control my bending, so I don't hurt people unintentionally.” 

Aang looked up at that part, before speaking “I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher. When I first tried to learn firebending, I burned Katara, and after that, I never wanted to firebend again. But now I know you understand how easy it is to hurt the people you love.” Sokka couldn’t help but feel as if Zuko was looking directly at him as Aang said this, “I'd like you to teach me.” 

Sokka was shocked to say the least. He wasn’t going to go against what Aang wanted or deny him a firebending teacher- after all the fate of the world was more important than his feelings- but he still wasn’t expecting Aang to come around that fast. 

Zuko bowed in response to Aang’s comment before saying, “Thank you. I'm so happy you've accepted me into your group.” 

At this, Aang shook his head before stating that he needed the opinion of his friends before allowing Zuko to join them. Sokka was glad, yes, that Aang was asking for their opinions, but he had to know that neither him, Katara nor Toph would say no. They’d found a firebending teacher and if Aang was happy to trust him- or at least give him a chance- they all would be too.

It wasn’t when the three of them had given Aang their approval and Zuko had thanked them for letting him join that it had sunk in for Sokka that this was real. No, that happened when Sokka was the one who got burdened with showing Zuko to the room in the temple where he would be staying. 

The two didn’t talk for the entire walk- Zuko no doubt having decided to bite his tongue based on Sokka’s deliberate coldness. Sokka was mad at Zuko, yes, of course he was. Zuko has hurt him, and maybe Sokka would’ve been more inclined to have forgiven his lies if he hadn’t gone with his sister at Ba Sing Se. Yes despite this, Sokka couldn’t help but want to talk to Zuko, he wanted to feel that connection again, to talk to him for hours like they did back in Ba Sing Se. 

“Right so this is your room,” Sokka spoke awkwardly as they arrived at the empty room, gesturing through the door as if it wasn’t already clear that this was the room Sokka was referring to. 

Sokka hovered on the doorway while Zuko dropped his bag and sat down on the bed. Just as he turned to leave, Zuko spoke directly to him for the first time since they were in Ba Sing Se. 

“Sokka I-“ 

Sokka cut Zuko off before he could say anymore than that, “No. I’m not talking to you.“ Sokka took in a deep breath, “I’m doing this for Aang’s benefit- not for yours.” 

~Zuko~ 

Zuko was feeling strangely relaxed after his outing with Aang, he’d been with the group for about a week, and was just starting to feel like one of them. Of course Katara was still holding a grudge, and Sokka was yet to willingly talk to him. Which he guessed he deserved, Zuko knew it was his fault that Sokka didn’t want to talk to him, and he understood that. Understanding didn’t make his cold shoulder any more bearable, however. 

Zuko did regret not seeing more of Sokka whilst he had the chance. He should’ve asked him out sooner, or asked him on another date before he was ill. Really, Zuko regretted ever hurting Sokka, he should’ve listened to his uncle that day in Ba Sing Se. Regardless of his regrets, Zuko was feeling calm. It was refreshing to be able to firebend without rage, and it was a relief to know that the dragons weren’t all killed off either. 

Eventually, everyone who had been sat by the fire had left one by one, as the night grew later and the fire dimmed. Until it was only Zuko and Sokka left. Wanting to respect Sokka’s wishes not to talk to him, Zuko was about to stand up and leave when Sokka’s voice, quiet and unsure, spoke up from beside him. 

“Was it all a lie?” 

Zuko didn’t need to ask what Sokka was referring to, he knew immediately. It had been one of the few things occupying Zuko’s mind over the last two months after all. Zuko could sense just how vulnerable Sokka was being with him at that moment, and it almost made him happy that Sokka was still willing to show Zuko his more vulnerable side. Not wanting to overstep, however, Zuko hid this choosing instead to respond with a quiet head shake. 

“No,” he affirmed, not meeting Sokka’s eyes from across the campfire, “I only lied about my identity- everything else we spoke about- my father, Love Amongst Dragons- that was all true,” 

Sokka didn’t say anything more, only nodding meekly, his face unreadable in the dim evening light. 

Zuko bit his tongue, suppressing the urge to say goodnight to Sokka as he walked off slowly towards the temple. It was strange, being so close to Sokka but not being able to kiss him like he wanted too, not even being able to wish him goodnight without worrying about overstepping his boundaries. And while Zuko was indeed disappointed (to say the least) that he couldn’t talk properly to Sokka, or hold his hand, or rest his head on his shoulder, Zuko was glad that Sokka had spoken to him. And he hoped that this would only mean that Sokka would talk to him some more. 

~Sokka~

Sokka wasn’t sure how to feel. He knew that a part of him still loved Zuko, and that part of him was definitely glad to hear that it wasn’t all just a lie. In fact, all of him was glad to hear that it wasn’t just a lie. But that didn’t make Sokka’s feelings any less complex, he was still so hurt, so heartbroken by the fact that Zuko had lied to him, and it was strange because Sokka also felt like he didn’t deserve to feel hurt, he felt like because Zuko had only lied about his name, he hadn’t really betrayed Sokka at all. Yet he couldn’t help but feel at least a little bit taken advantage of. With all these different feelings playing on Sokka’s mind, it was no surprise that he had trouble sleeping that night. 

As well as being so torn up on Zuko, Sokka also couldn’t stop thinking about his dad, about the rest of the invasion force- they were all locked in some fire nation prison somewhere and there was nothing he could do about it. Well, unless he could find out from Zuko where they’d be keeping them, or at least his father. But Zuko would want to go with him- and Sokka definitely wasn’t ready to spend that long alone with Zuko. 

By the time the eight of them were at around a fire as Zuko handed out tea and told a bad joke (that could’ve been quite funny if he’d actually remembered the start of it), Sokka knew what he had to do. He had to put his mind at rest about his father, and the only way he could do that was by finding out where he was, and breaking him out. And Sokka could only do that by talking to Zuko. So he’d just ask, make it seem casual and then try to convince Zuko that he wasn’t going to go if Zuko thought he might. Easy. Right? 

“Hey Zuko,” Sokka spoke cautiously.

“Yeah?” Zuko looked up immediately, Sokka had to try not to flinch- he didn’t want to get Zuko’s hopes up about the two of them. 

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” 

“Sure,” Zuko placed the tray of mugs down and followed Sokka away from the rest of the group Sokka didn’t want anyone else knowing what he was doing- he had to do this alone, it was his fault that his father and the rest of the invasion force had been captured, and so it was his responsibility to fix this. 

“Hypothetically- if someone were to be captured by the fire nation,” Sokka began, refusing to meet Zuko’s eyes, “Where would they be taken?”

Zuko saw right through him, “Who’s been captured?” Sokka should’ve seen this coming, Zuko knew him better than he cared to admit, after all.

“My father,” Sokka looked away, he could feel tears forming in his eyes and he did not want Zuko too see him that vulnerable, “After the invasion, he was captured along with most of the adult invasion force, only the seven of us got away on Appa,” 

“I can’t tell you,” 

“What?!” Sokka whisper-yelled, still not eating to gain the attention of the rest of the group. 

“You wouldn’t want to know okay, Sokka” 

“You broke my heart, the least you could do is help me find my father,” That came out a lot harsher than Sokka was intending, and was far more vulnerable than Sokka was intending on being, but in all honesty, he meant every word. And it seemed to get the job done. 

Zuko visibly flinched, but continued anyway, “He’d have probably been taken to The Boiling Rock. It’s a high security fire nation prison meant to house the most dangerous criminals in the Fire Nation. It’s in a boiling lake, it’s in a volcano between here and the Fire Nation, you probably went past it when you flew here. Promise me you won’t go.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Because it is incredibly dangerous and nobody had ever escaped before, and your father may not even be there,” 

Sokka sighed, he should just say that he won’t go- it’ll get Zuko off his back now, and guarantee him a lonely flight. Plus, if he disappears and Zuko knows about the prison, then they might be able to find him if he doesn’t come back. “Fine, I won’t go.” 

“Wait really? That was easier than I expected.” 

“Yeah, knowing has actually made me feel loads better- well thank you, I’ll be off now,” Sokka walked off before Zuko could protest, heading straight to his room. He’d get some sleep now and set off before sunrise. 

~~~

Sokka slipped out of his room quietly as the sun began to peak through the windows. It was later than he intended to leave, so he had to be quick else Aang or Zuko might wake up. 

“Not up to anything are you?” Zuko asked, sat with his arms folded in Appa’s saddle. He’d startled Sokka so much that he’d fallen right off of the bison.

While Sokka wasn’t exactly happy with spending the next couple of days alone with Zuko, he was glad for the company, and he hated to admit it but he could really do with the help to break his father out. His father, that’s why he was doing this, it would all be worth it if he could break his father out of the Fire Nation prison. And so he let Zuko go with him, and he went with Zuko in the war balloon. And they didn’t speak for pretty much the entire ride to The Boiling Rock. 

~Zuko~

By the end of their first day at the prison, they’d found out that Chief Hakoda wasn’t being held at the prison, they’d found a Kyoshi warrior that Sokka seemed to be close with (not that Zuko was jealous or anything), and Zuko had been found out, landing him in a prisoner’s uniform and sat in a damp cell. Needless to say, it was a very successful first day. If Sokka had a plan, he was yet to share it. This was exactly why Zuko didn’t want Sokka to come, he knew that something like this would happen, he could only be thankful that it was him sitting in a cell, and not Sokka. He was glad he’d come, because Sokka would have come regardless, and he’d have struggled on his own. 

“But how are you going to get the cooler out?” Suki asked after Sokka had finished explaining his plan. It was a well thought out plan, yes, but Suki did raise a valid question. 

“Yeah, how are you going to get the cooler out?” 

Shit. 

“What? We didn't ... w-we didn't say that.” As much as Zuko loved Sokka, he really was doing an awful job at convincing Chit Sang that they were not up to anything. 

“Yeah, you heard wrong.”

Zuko would’ve had an easier time convincing Iroh that he’s straight, than convincing Chit Sang that they weren’t up to anything, and Iroh knew Zuko was gay before Zuko even knew Zuko was gay.

By the end of their second day, they’d hatched a well thought out plan, accidentally got possibly the dumbest prisoner in the Boiling Rock on board their plan, and Zuko was in the Cooler. So, considerably more successful than their first day. Zuko took care to ensure he’d removed all of the specific screws that Sokka had told him to, to ensure that the cooler would come off of the wall, but not come apart. The cooler was well fitting to its name. Zuko was freezing. He had been colder in the North Pole, however, and was comfortable so long as he regulated his body temperature with his breath of fire, just as uncle had taught him.

“I can take you back to your cell if you've learned your lesson.”

Zuko looked up at Sokka who was holding the door open with one arm, looking down at Zuko. “Yes I have,” Zuko tilted his shirt to show the collection of screws and bolts he’d removed, “Completely,”.

Zuko pretended not to notice the vibrant shade of red that Sokka’s face went when he said that. He also pretended not to notice the even redder shade that flushed Sokka’s face as he pulled him into the small cooler as two guards passed by. 

The cooler was clearly only designed to fit one person, and while both Zuko and Sokka physically fit into the space, they had very little space. As Zuko felt his face heat up, likely resulting in a shade of red to rival Sokka’s face he thought about the last time he’d been this close to Sokka. That night in Ba Sing Se, which felt like aeons ago. 

Zuko wasn’t really listening to what the guards passing by were saying, he was rather preoccupied attempting to keep his flustered stare under control, but when one of them mentioned that there would be prisoners of war transferred in the morning, his interest was piqued. 

Zuko shared a knowing look with Sokka, but before he could say anything Sokka has already started speaking, “Come on, Suki’s waiting for us, let’s go before the guards pass by again,” 

So they did, standing inside the hallway all it took was a light push to dislodge the cooler, thanks to Zuko removing the bolts from the inside, from then they just had to roll it down the hill as silently as possible.

Zuko couldn’t say he was surprised when Sokka had decided to throw away their escape plan on the off chance that one of the new prisoners was his father, in fact he’d have done the same if it was his uncle. It made sense, especially considering how much Sokka loved his father (and from what Sokka had told him in Ba Sing Se, it was for good reason too, Hakoda seemed like a great father). Zuko tried not to be jealous of Sokka and Hakoda, especially after they’d found out that he was actually one of the new prisoners. Seeing the two of them together, being so close really made Zuko regret that he couldn’t have had a better relationship with his father. Although he was glad that he had that with his uncle, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit jealous of their healthy family dynamic.

~Sokka~ 

Even after they’d all safely gotten away and were in the air on Azula’s warship, Sokka’s heart was still racing from their close call. He didn’t want to admit just how nervous he’d gotten when Zuko and Azula were fighting so close to the edge of the gondola, or just how flustered he’d gotten as he’d grasped Zuko’s hnd to pull him onto the gondola. 

In all honesty, Sokka wasn't sure exactly how to feel. The past few days had helped him to be more comfortable with Zuko having joined them, and had even seen a side of Zuko that he’d known in Ba Sing Se, and as they spent time together, Sokka started to believe it a little more that Lee wasn't completely a character. But he still wasn't sure how to feel, he still didn't know what to think, and he knew that he had to speak to his father. His dad had been the only person he’d spoken to about Lee/Zuko, and he left out specifics, but his dad’s advice had really helped the first time, and he guessed that explaining the development might help more. If nothing else it would help Sokka to get it off of his chest. 

“Hey, dad?” Sokka asked, walking up to his dad, who was leaning on the rail of the airship and leaving slightly over the side. 

“Whats up Sokka?” 

“Do you remember what we spoke about a couple months back? Just after we left Ba Sing Se?” 

“Yeah, your boy, Lee was his name right?” Sokka nodded, “What of it?” 

“You know how I said he’d lied to me?” Hakoda nodded, “Well it turns out Lee was actually Zuko,” 

“Ah, I see,” Hakoda’s face remained neutral, which worried Sokka a little, he didn’t want his dad to turn around and yell at Zuko or something like that, “No wonder you were so upset,” 

Sokka swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded, “I just felt so betrayed, you know?” 

“I suppose things have changed a little now then? Before it would’ve been easy to hate him, he’d hurt you and he’s fire nation, but now it’s harder, because he’s on your side right? And so you’ve actually got to confront your feelings and deal with them properly.” 

“That is exactly how I’m feeling,” Sokka smiled, his dad knew him so well, he was always able to decipher his thoughts and feelings, even when Sokka himself wasn’t able to, “How do you always know what to say? It’s just difficult, because I haven't forgiven him, he hurt me so much, but I’m starting to see him again, the same person I fell in love with in Ba Sing Se, and I feel guilty? Like I’m not allowed to be upset with him because he only ever lied about his name,” 

“Sokka, do not ever feel guilty for how you feel, Your feelings are and always will be valid okay? He hurt you. What he’s like now, and your perception of that doesn’t change anything.” 

“So what should I do?”

“I can’t decide that for you Sokka, you need to confront your own feelings and figure out from there what’s right for you to do. But I think you should start by talking to Zuko, actually talking to him. Tell him about how he hurt you, ope that communication, it might make the answer clearer to you,” 

Sokka pulled his dad into a tight hug, burying his head into his dad’s shoulders- he was almost as tall as him now- and whispering a faint ‘thank you’. His dad always knew the right thing to say, and his words had actually cleared things up a great deal. Sokka had decided that he’d take the advice, and that he’d talk to Zuko. Which would not be easy, but he had to do it, he had to do it for himself, for closure of nothing else. 

Sokka was by no means ready to have this conversation, but he knew he had to do it now- he’d probably never have the chance if he didn’t now- besides, he’d never feel entirely ready. He tried to mask just how nervous he was as he approached Zuko- who was sitting against the railing, taking the opportunity of another fire bender aboard to rest rather than keep the airship afloat- but to no avail. Sokka sat cautiously next to Zuko, who didn’t react much more than a half smile and a nod as Sokka sat beside him. 

Sokka took a deep breath, “I want to talk about it,” realistically Sokka knew he didn’t have to clarify any more than that. They both knew exactly what ‘it’ was, it was high over their head the past few weeks as a heavy tension, yet he carried on anyway, “In Ba Sing Se.”

“Sokka I-” 

“No,” Sokka cut him off, “I’m going to talk first if you don’t mind,” 

Zuko didn’t say anything to that, he only nodded and waited for Sokka to begin. 

“I, I’m not exactly sure where to start actually,” Sokka looked down, not meeting Zuko’s gaze, guessing he should probably start by making it clear just how much Zuko had hurt him, “You hurt me so much. It wasn’t only the fact that you lied about who you were for so long, although that is a big part of it. What made it so much worse is that you then turned around and attacked us, even after… you know, everything.

“And, I just felt so used. Like you’d known it was me from the start and then after I found out you turned and joined your sister, it made me feel so worthless, so used.” Sokka stopped. Even when speaking to his dad he hadn’t opened up that much about how he felt.

“I’m sorry.” Zuko began. Sokka already wanted to jump in but held his tongue, listening to what Zuko had to say was a part of talking about it, he had to have the communication with him if things weren't going too awkward anymore. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, nor am I going to try and excuse my actions. I hurt you and I’m sorry. I can explain why I did what I did if you want me to- but I won't if you don’t.”  
Sokka nodded, he appreciated Zuko’s apology, and he did want to know why, actually, he thought that it might help him to understand Zuko’s position a little better, and give him closure. 

“Did I ever tell you how I got my scar?” Sokka shook his head, he’s always wondered, but had felt that it would be rude to ask, “I was thirteen,” Sokka tried not show the surprise on his face too much, he knew that he must have been young since the scar was at least a couple years old, yet it was still shocking to actually hear, “My uncle let me into a war meeting on the condition that I didn’t speak. One of the Commanders suggested a plan to use new recruits as a distraction, sacrificing the lives of an entire battalion. I spoke out against this, I said it was cruel,

“The commander, and my father were furious that I had spoken out of turn and so I had to compensate for this disrespect with an Agni Kai. When my father was the one who walked out I begged for forgiveness. That’s when he gave me this,” Zuko pointed to his scar and Sokka couldn’t stop the gasp from escaping. His own father had done that to him? Had permanently disfigured his face? That was awful. “He banished me, said I could only return with the Avatar. Which was a wild goose chase- he didn;t want me to return. My Uncle has been more of a father to me than he ever has,” 

“Zuko that's awful,” Sokka said, not knowing what else to say, “Of course you went with your sister- that makes a lot of sense,” 

“But it doesn't excuse the fact that I hurt you! That I was wrong!” 

“No it doesn’t,” Sokka began, not really liking how self-depreciating his comments were, “But it helps me to understand why you made that decision,” Sokka smiled a half smile at Zuko, who returned the warm facial expression.

Sokka turned so that he was facing Zuko a little more, who then turned in the same way so that the two were sat opposite each other, rather than beside each other as they had been. “Can I?” Sokka trailed off, his hand pointing towards Zuko’s face. 

Zuko didn’t respond, only nodded, and Sokka held his hand to Zuko's face. Carefully cupping Zuko’s face with his right hand, Sokka gently ran his thumb over the scar tissue that covered the left hand side of his face. Sokka still struggled to understand how a father could do this to his own son, and Sokka began to realise that he understood Zuko’s nature far more now. 

Zuko placed his hand over Sokka’s, and looked up, meeting Sokka’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?” Zuko asked, his voice barely a whisper, careful to keep quiet. 

For a moment, Sokka considered saying yes. He thought about how nice it would be to be with Zuko, how much he wanted to just say yes and get to re-experience the same feeling he got when he was with Zuko in Ba Sing Se. Sokka wanted to, he really did. But he couldn’t. He hadn’t quite forgiven Zuko yet. 

And so he shook his head slightly, pulling hand away from Zuko’s face, “I can’t do this, I’m sorry,”

“No don’t be sorry, I overstepped, I shouldn’t have asked,” 

~Zuko~ 

Zuko couldn’t sleep that night when they returned to the temple. He had so much to think about that he couldn't even begin to shut his mind off for long enough to fall asleep. That was the first time he’d properly spoken to Sokka since Ba Sing Se, the first time he’d told anyone how he got his scar. And Sokka didn’t hate him! He had a chance, right? But Sokka’s words still rung out in Zuko’s head. I can’t do this. Why couldn’t he? Was it just too soon? Would he ever be able to? Ever want to? Or would Zuko just have to move on and accept that Sokka didn’t want him. 

~~~

After their trip to The Boiling Rock, things were less awkward between Sokka and Zuko. The two spoke more, interacted like actual friends, but there was still a slight tension between them, and Zuko couldn’t help but blame himself for that- had had a feeling things wouldn’t be tense if he hadn’t asked to kiss Sokka. Although, he was also quite glad that he had asked rather than just leaning in- he reckoned that he outcome would have been far more awkward if he’d done that. 

“Guess what!” Sokka exclaimed as he and Suki walked towards where himself, Katara and Aang were sitting, “There’s a play about us! It’s by the Ember Island Players though, and Zuko said that they’re rubbish so it might be a bust,” 

Zuko definitely blushed a little at the mention of his name, he was touched that Sokka had remembered his ramblings about theatre, that he’d even been listening in the first place. And while Zuko knew it would probably be terrible, seen as the Ember Island Players were the same troupe that had butchered Love Amongst Dragons every year (Zuko nearly mentioned this, and that he’d seen a much better version in Ba Sing Se, but bit his tongue- he didn’t know how much everyone knew about his and Sokka’s relationship and he didn't want to mention anything if they didn’t already know) the six of them made their way to the theatre that evening to watch the performance. 

The play was just about as awful as Zuko was expecting it to be. Not only was it a terrible portrayal of them all, but it was clearly propaganda. What was worse, however, was the fact that Suki had on Sokka’s other side when Zuko had sat beside him. Not that Zuko was jealous of Suki. Not, not at all. He just didn’t like how close her and Sokka were. And he couldn't stop his mind from wandering, from wondering if Suki was the reason that Sokka had turned him down on the way back from The Boiling Rock. I can’t do this. 

What didn’t help was how Sokka and Suki walked off together to sneak backstage during the second interval. Now Zuko definitely wasn’t jealous, no, but he could’ve gotten Sokka backstage. He snuck into Zhao’s fortress! 

Zuko sat down, leaving against the wall, and Toph- who was the only person who hadn’t run off for the interval- sat next to him. 

“Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!” Roph spoke as she’d sat down.

“You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.”

“Yeah that’s pretty great,” 

“But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself. And Sokka, I hurt him so much, he may never fully forgive me.” Zuko didn’t intend to let that last bit slip. He wasn’t sure how everyone would react to him liking boys. Same-sex relationships had been outlawed in the Fire Nation for 100 years, and he was certain that the other parts of the world couldn’t have been much better. 

“I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re talking about with Sokka, but I’ve met your uncle, and I just know that he’s forgiven you, you’ve redeemed yourself,” 

How could she possibly know that? Zuko had betrayed his uncle and he hadn’t even had the chance to apologise yet, there was no way he’d have forgiven him. 

“Yeah I met him a couple months back- we had tea- all he’d talk about was you. He clearly loves you, and there's not a chance that he won't forgive you.” 

Zuko hadn’t thought of a response when he was pulled out of his thoughts by Toph punching him in the arm, “Ow! What was that for?” 

“That's how I show affection,” Toph got up, presumably to stretch her legs a little before the third act, “Oh, by the way, Suki only likes girls, so there’s not need to be jealous,” 

“I’m not jealous,” he wasn’t jealous. Although, it did make him feel a little more at ease knowing that Suki didn’t like Sokka in that way. And it comforted him that there was someone else in the group that liked the same-sex. Not to mention the nonchalance with which Toph had mentioned it. Even if it turned out that same-sex relationships weren't accepted across the other nations, Zuko took comfort in the fact that his new friends likely wouldn’t care regardless. 

“He’ll come around Sparky,” Toph had already walked off before Zuko could respond. 

~~~

It still hadn’t fully sunk in for Zuko that today was the day that they’d finally take down the Fire Nation, his father, or die trying. And he was certain that the rest felt the same, as they all sat in a circle in the middle of the White Lotus’ camp. Everything was beginning to feel real now, and Zuko wasn’t sure they’d all make it out of this alive. He hoped they would, he really did, but he couldn’t be completely sure. Especially with Aang still missing. He wanted badly to trust that Aang would arrive just in time to kill the firelord, yet was still slightly pessimistic. 

The plan was simple, himself and Katara would confront Azula, Sokka, Suki and Toph would target the airship fleet, and the White Lotus would take back Ba Sing Se. Then we’d all meet back here. Hopefully. Piando and Jeong Jeong were already sending out messenger hawks to rebel groups across the Earth Kingdom, and to both the water tribes. They could do with backup in Ba Sing Se, and groups to re-conquer other Earth Kingdom strongholds such as Omashu. Not to mention how useful water tribe healers would be to have at the camp. Zuko hoped none of them would need attention from a water tribe healer, but that was unlikely. 

Just as Zuko and Katara were finishing gearing up to find Azula on Appa, Sokka approached the two of them. Katara looked up to her older brother and just said, “See you on the other side,” before climbing swiftly onto Appa and leaving him to speak to Zuko alone. 

“Zuko,” Sokka spoke softly, placing his hand cautiously on Zuko’s shoulder, “Stay safe out there, okay?” 

Zuko nodded, as he felt the tears start to well up in his eyes, and as Sokka moved his hand, Zuko pulled him into a tight hug. “Come back in one piece,” he spoke into Sokka’s shoulder. Pulling back slightly, Zuko spoke again. He wasn’t sure what made him want to say this now- although it was probably the fear that one of them would die before they could have the chance to see each other again- but he looked up at Sokka and said, quickly and in a hushed whisper, “If I don’t make it back alive, I love you,” Zuko turned and followed Katara on Appa. He didn’t want to wait for Sokka’s reaction, just in case the last thing he ever heard Sokka say was something awful like ‘I don’t love you,’ or ‘I can’t do this’. 

As the two of them rode off into the sunrise, neither entirely sure what they day would bring, Zuko pictured for a moment the life they could have if they won the war. He thought, for just a moment, about how they’d see the world together, without having to fight in every new city. He thought about how he’d be the firelord, about the changes he’d make (one of the most personally important changes for Zuko being the legalisation of same-sex relationships). And he thought about how he just might be able to share that with Sokka.

~Sokka~ 

Sokka ran back into the camp, the euphoria of their win, of the firelord defeated carrying him on his broken leg (that he hadn’t stood still long enough for anyone to try healing just yet). He was desperate to see if Zuko and Katara had made it back. He needed to see that his sister was alive. He needed to see Zuko- the idiot had left before Sokka could respond to his declaration, and Sokka feared, fighting the fire nation soldiers with one hand a broken leg, that he might never see Zuko again to tell him.

Which is when he ran right into Katar. “Katara! You’re alive!” Sokka exclaimed, pulling his beloved sister into the tightest hug he could (who hugged back just as tight, she’d clearly been just as happy to see her brother as he was her). “Zuko! Is he here? Is he alright?” Sokka asked hurriedly. 

Before Katara could even begin to respond, Zuko came stumbling out of one of the healing tents, “Sokka!” He exclaimed, his face lighting up as soon as he saw him. 

And without even thinking, as the two ran toward one another, Sokka pulled Zuko into a desperate kiss. It was a ‘I couldn’t possibly be happier to see your face right now’ kiss, a ‘you’re alive’ kiss, a ‘i love you with all of my heart’ kiss. The two retained eye contact as they pulled away, only each other existing in that moment, and- staring into Zuko’s fiery eyes- Sokka leaned in close, and whispered quiet enough for only Zuko to hear (not wanting this moment to be anybody’s but theirs) “I love you too,” 

Not that their relationship was any secret after that kiss. And the second kiss that Zuko had pulled Sokka into after he spoke. They’d broadcast their love for any of the water tribe healers, White Lotus, or earth nation soldiers at the camp to see, but Sokka wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sokka placed his hands on Zuko’s cheeks, using his thumb to gently wipe away the tears in his eyes. Zuko did the same, bringing their faces together so that their foreheads touched. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Zuko whispered repeatedly. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Sokka returned, still in that low whisper. 

“OI!” they were pulled from their moment by Katara yelling, “You are not supposed to stand! You need rest, you were shot with lightning for spirits sake!” 

“I’m sorry you were shot with what?!”

But before Zuko could respond, Katara was already dragging the two off to her healing tent, mumbling about how Sokka’s leg was clearly broken as he should not be standing either. Sokka turned and grinned at Zuko- the pain in his leg starting to become noticeable again, as the euphoria from the win and seeing Zuko wore off- who grinned right back at him. This was their new normal, and spirits did Sokka love every aspect of it. He could not wait to spend the rest of his life with this boy.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! That was a process! For reference, part 1 took me about a week to outline and wrote, part 2 took just over three weeks! I hope you enjoyed this, I certainly enjoyed writing it. I tried to do our boys justice, and make up for how sad and unresolved the part 1 ending was! This ending was definitely happier, but it was still a rollercoaster along the way so sorry for all the angst. Thank you for reading, and I'll see you in a few weeks with part 3! 
> 
> -E


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